A New Dream

I have had an especially hard time figuring out where I want to take my life.  Thinking about it was, and still is, too overwhelming and I've felt like I've been going nowhere.  The rough draft of a plan was to go to California for college, A) because I love California and B) Hannah and I can get free college at any UC or CSU school there because my dad is technically a disabled veteran of the military (and I say technically because he's really not disabled, he just has scoliosis).  I've been saying I was going to move to California ever since we found this out a few years ago, but things keep happening that keeps me from being able to go there.  

Last August, I flew to California to get my California license so I could start the process of becoming a resident (since you have to be a California resident to receive the benefit of free college).  I used my grandparents address and changed my bank account and cell phone bill to be sent to my grandparents.  The plan was to have the residency started, while still living and working in Colorado so that I could save up money to get out there.  I've been taking online classes through Santa Monica College so I could get a head start.

Just a few days ago, my dad and I basically woke up and decided to drive to California (mainly so that Hannah and Arthur could have a ride to the airport, but that's a story for another time).  This way, I could finally get my replacement license (which I had lost in June), go to Santa Monica College, have a counselor look at my transcripts from Pikes Peak Community College to see which credits would transfer, get a student ID, and apply to have my residency status changed.  Little did I know I was about to have the doors to California slammed in my face one last time.

As my dad and I were waiting to see a counselor, I had started to fill out the application to have my residency status changed.  I filled out my part then handed it to my dad to fill out what he had to.  When he got to the part where he had to verify that I had not been living somewhere else, he decided a good name was more desirable than riches and would not lie for me.  I could feel the rush from the door slamming this last time.  I was upset, after all, everything we had done over the last year felt like all for nothing, but I think deep down, I was relieved.  I no longer had the option of California and I could finally let go of all of the stress and confusion it had caused me for the last year.  I wouldn't have to leave my friends and boyfriend and family and life I've grown to love in Colorado.

Now there have been a considerable amount of obstacles I've faced in moving to California ever since I graduated.  I took them in stride and I felt the obstacles were there just so I could prove just how determined I was to achieve my dream.  But now, looking back, I realize doors had been slammed in my face to keep me from going.  I am not meant to move to California.  God has been trying to tell me this all along but I've been too ignorant to see it.  Maybe one day, but for now, God wants me in Colorado.

So now I have a new goal.  I've been struggling in figuring out what career path I want to take ever since I had to start thinking about it.  I've changed my mind about a zillion times but now, I know for sure what I need and want to do.  Two of my favorite hobbies are writing and photography.  So how could I combine the two?  Photojournalism.   Duh.  How come I didn't think of this before?  And you wanna know the great part?  I could not find a school in California that was where I wanted to live that offered a journalism degree program.  So now, after realizing the doors are closed on California, I looked in to what schools I could go to in Colorado that offered what I want.  And you know what?  It took all of five minutes.  I can major in journalism and minor in photojournalism at Metro State in Denver.

I feel like I can finally breathe a hugh sigh of relief.  I now have a clear goal in my head and I'm happy with it.  I am so excited.  I've already applied to Metro for the Spring 2013 semester.  The last hiccup is to get accepted and I am golden.  Thank God for clarity.

- A